48

Characters:

Jack Brauwer:                            Head Field Operations Counter Terrorist Unit (CTU)

Winston:                                     Jack Brauwerīs no. 2

Johnsson:                                   Special Interrogator CTU

William Forsythe:                        U.S. President

Elenore Forsythe:                       First Lady

Ronnie Black:                              Head of Secret Service

Anatoli Romanov:                       Russian president

Katharina Romanov:                   Russian presidentīs wife

Yuri Dagarov:                              Terrorist, Achmed

Guri Stagarov:                             Terrorist

Luri Nagarov:                               Terrorist

Mia Blondinski:                            White House Chief Of Staff     

Jamie OíNeill:                               CNN Senior White House Correspondent


Scene 1

 [Enter Jamie OíNeill]

Jamie OíNeill: Russian President Romanov and his wife Katharina are expected to arrive shortly to join President Forsythe in signing the Global Play Station Treaty, the universal peace agreement that both world leaders have been working on for so long. We will get back to you as soon as the ceremony starts. This is Jamie OíNeill for CNN at the White House.

[Exit Jamie OíNeill]

[Enter William Forsythe]

[William Forsythe sits down behind desk and starts reading documents; playing with rubber balls and hugging dog in between]

[Enter Ronnie Black]

Ronnie Black: Excuse me, Sir. Your interview for a new Chief of Staff is coming up.

William Forsythe: Alright, thank you, Ron.

[Exit Ronnie Black]

[Enter Mia Blondinski]

William Forsythe: Hello, Miss Blondinski, a pleasure to meet you.

Mia Blondinski: The pleasure is all mine, mister President.

William Forsythe: Please be seated.

[William Forsythe and Mia Blondinski take a seat at opposite sides of the table]

William Forsythe: Miss Blondinski, as you know my former Chief of Staff died in a tragic accident, and I hope we can conclude this interview positively and offer you this position.

Mia Blondinski: I hope so too, mister President.

William Forsythe: Do you have a curriculum I might have a look at?

Mia Blondinski: Yes, Sir, I do.

[Mia Blondinski takes a 2 by 2 centimeter piece of paper out of her pocket and puts it in the middle of the table.][William Forsythe tries to hide his surprise and studies the document carefully.]

William Forsythe: Right, Miss Blondinski, this is an impressive list you have here. I see that you dropped out of primary school after two months. Why was that, if you donít mind me asking?

Mia Blondinski: Well Sir, this teacher we had, he had this thing with all kind of numbers and stuff like that, while I think that people should spend their time playing with each other.

William Forsythe: Exactly, Miss Blondinski. I think you can assist me perfectly on the Global Play Station Treaty. Congratulations, the job is yours and I would like you to start straight away. Agent Black will give you all the necessary details.

Mia Blondinski: Thank you very much, mister President, I wonít disappoint you.

[Exit Mia Blondinski] [Exit William Forsythe]

Scene 2

[Enter Mia Blondinski] [Enter Yuri Dagarov][Both with cell phones]

Yuri Dagarov: Itís Yuri. How did it go?

Mia Blondinski: I succeeded, he hired me.

Yuri Dagarov: Good, proceed according to the plan and keep me up to date.

Mia Blondinski: Alright, I will.

[Exit Yuri Dagarov][Mia Blondinski puts dog under her coat][Exit Mia Blondinski]

Scene 3

[Enter Jack Brauwer] [Enter Winston]

[Winston calls Jack Brauwer]

Winston: Jack, itís Winston. I just got a call from the White House. There is a situation.

Jack Brauwer: What is it, Winston?

Winston: It appears that the first dog has been kidnapped.

Jack Brauwer: Listen, Winston. You know my situation. My wife has been killed; my daughter does not want to see me anymore.  I am devastated. I havenít been working for over a year. I canít concentrate, my memory is a misery, I am on Valium. I cannot be of any assistance now.

Winston: We really need you, Jack.

Jack Brauwer: What is the name of this English band again, not those guys from Help, but the other ones?

Winston: You mean the Rolling Stones?

Jack Brauwer: Yeah, yeah. They could cover a complete album with the number of nervous breakdowns I had. I canít do it, Winston, I am sorry.

Winston: Alright, Jack, I understand. You get yourself together first. We keep your room waiting for you.

Jack Brauwer: Thanks, Winston, thatís nice.

Winston: Bye the way, Jack, what do you want to do with all those dresses in your cupboard?

Jack Brauwer: Iīll be right over, Winston.

Scene 4

Jack Brauwer: Any demands from the kidnappers yet?

Winston: No, nothing yet. What do you want me to do?

Jack Brauwer: Listen Winston, I want you to get anything you can find on kidnapping animals for the last five years. And, Winston, see if you can get a lookalike dog for the president for the time being. It is a 3 year old white poodle.

Winston: Hang on Jack. There is a urgent call coming in from Mia Blondinski, the new Chief of Staff, I will pass here on to you.

Jack Brauwer: Yes Mia, this is Jack Brauwer.  What is it?

Mia Blondinski: Jack, I have someone on the line who claims he has the first dog and wants to speak to the president.

Jack Brauwer: Right, patch him through to me, Mia. The president has to concentrate on the treaty now.

Mia Blondinski: Alright, I put him on now, Jack.

Jack Brauwer: This is Jack Brauwer, who are you?

Yuri Dagarov: I am a terrorist. My name is Ali Iben Rajeez Sultan Omar Kumar Waheed Bengazi, but you can call me Achmed. We have the first dog in our custody.

Jack Brauwer: I need proof that the first dog is still alive.

Yuri Dagarov: I will send you a small bone of his tail by express mail. You should receive that within the next hour.

Jack Brauwer: What are your demands ?

Yuri Dagarov: We want 50 million dollars in cash. Equally divided into Dutch Guilders, German Marks and French Francs.

Winston: But thatís not possible, thatís all Eurosí now.

Yuri Dagarov: Do you think I am a stupid terrorist ? I had a professional education at several camps all over the world. Do what I tell you.

Jack Brauwer: Shut the fuck up, Winston. 

Yuri Dagarov: Call me when you have received the bone and I will tell you the location for the transfer.

[Yuri Dagarov ends the call][ [Exit Yuri Dagarov]

Jack Brauwer: Donít you understand, Winston? There is no way he can check that currency, so we can give him Monopoly money.

Winston: Sorry Jack, you are right, smart work.

Jack Brauwer: Thatís why they put me in charge, Winston; to do all the thinking, donít forget that.  I am on my way to CTU now.

[Exit Winston] [Exit Jack Brauwer]

Scene 5

[Enter Jack Brauwer][Enter Winston][Location CTU]

Jack Brauwer: Hi, Winston. Anything new?

Winston: Hi Jack, yes, the bone was delivered a couple of minutes ago.

Jack Brauwer: Right, Winston I want you to cross reference it with all our bone databases and those of the CIA, the FBI, the Mossad, the Securetť, MI5, LOCK, all of them, to see what we can find.

Winston: Excuse me Jack, LOCK ?  

Jack Brauwer: Listen Winston, in the future all of these services will disappear and there will be one universal secret service called LOCK. A man in my position needs to have vision Winston, donít forget that. How long do you think it takes before you have any results?

Winston: It might take a couple of hours, Jack.

Jack Brauwer: Alright, now get on with it.

[4,52 seconds later:]

Winston: I got it, Jack. I think they want to bullshit us.

Jack Brauwer: Why, what did you find?

Winston: The bone, itís from a dinosaur.

Jack Brauwer: Damned. Winston get me this Achmed on the phone.

Winston: I am on it, Jack. Ö..

Winston: You have to wait for a moment, Jack; he is in the middle of an execution.

Yuri Dagarov: Mister Brauwer, itís Achmed.

Jack Brauwer: Are you trying to fuck with me with this bone? You donít have the first dog, do you?

Yuri Dagarov: I have to apologize to you, Mister Brauwer. I had this man working for me on a temporary basis through a terrorist personnel agency. Obviously he was not professional enough because he has sent you the wrong bone. I shot him 2 minutes ago. Iím really sorry, it wonít happen again.

Jack Brauwer: Fair enough, but I still want some kind of proof. Let me speak to the first dog.

Yuri Dagarov: Hold on for a second.

[Barking]

Jack Brauwer:  Alright, itís him.  

Yuri Dagarov: Meet me in 20 minutes at 35 Pepper Avenue. Come alone and bring the money or the first dog will die.

[Exit Yuri Dagarov]

Jack Brauwer: Winston, did you get that?

Winston: I got it, Jack.

Jack Brauwer: I know that place, itís in the Curry District. Winston, I want you to get full satellite coverage for that area, send in 4 teams and get me a car ready with weapons, ammo and the like. You know the drill.

Winston: I am on it, Jack.

[Exit Winston] [Exit Jack Brauwer]

Scene 6

[Enter Jack Brauwer ] [Enter Winston] [Winston has a bicycle with a kind of lunch box on the back]

Jack Brauwer: Winston, what is this? What about the car?

Winston: Sorry, Jack, theyíre cutting down on the budget.

Jack Brauwer: Damned.

[ Exit Winston] [Jack Brauwer starts riding the bicycle] [Enter Yuri Dagarov, dressed as a police officer, stops Jack Brauwer]

Yuri Dagarov: And where do we think we are going at this time of the day?

Jack Brauwer: Listen, officer, I am a federal agent and I am in the middle of an operation which concerns national security.

Yuri Dagarov: Of course, the next thing you are going to tell me is that it has something to do with the president.

Jack Brauwer: Yes, sir, as a matter of fact, it does. Now you have to believe me. I have to get going immediately.

Yuri Dagarov: Can I see your driverís license and registration?

Jack Brauwer: I understand it is hard to believe, but thatís all in the car I am normally using. Sir, please.

Yuri Dagarov: Turn yourself around and put your hands on the saddle where I can see them.

[Yuri Dagarov hits Jack Brauwer with an electric voltage gun, Jack Brauwer gets unconscious, Yuri Dagarov drags him away]

[Exit Yuri Dagarov] [Exit Jack Brauwer]

Scene 7

[Enter Mia Blondinski] [Enter Yuri Dagarov][Both with cell phones]

Yuri Dagarov: We captured Jack Brauer, he will not be a danger to our plans anymore. Any news?

Mia Blondinski: Yes, Yuri, the device is in place. Everything is fine.

Yuri Dagarov: Excellent, Mia. Keep me informed.

Mia Blondinski: I will.

[Exit Mia Blondinski] [Exit Yuri Dagarov]

Scene 8

[Enter Jack Brauwer] [Enter Luri Nagarov] [Jack Brauwer is handcuffed and Luri Nagarov is on guard]

Jack Brauwer: What is your name?

Luri Nagarov: I am not supposed to talk with you.

Jack Brauwer: I know, but telling me your name canít do any harm.

Luri Nagarov: Al right, my name is Luri Nagarov, thatís spelled N-a-g-a-r-o-v and thatīs all I am going to say to you.

Jack Brauwer: Fair enough, but we could play a game of cards while waiting, isnít it?

[Jack Brauwer takes a packet of playing cards out of his pocket. Luri Nagarov starts to shake and sweat]

Luri Nagarov: One little game then. Do you mind if I deal the cards?

[Jack Brauwer and Luri Nagarov start to play cards. Luri Nagarov has a Gamblers Anonymous look in his eyes. ]

Jack Brauwer: Listen Luri, if you let me go, I can get you as many cards as you want. I am not talking about one packet, but enough packages to keep you playing for the rest of your life.

Luri Nagarov:  Playing for the rest of my lifeÖ thatís what I have always been dreaming of. I never wanted to be a terrorist anyway. Alright, Iíll do it.

[Exit Luri Nagarov] [Exit Jack Brauwer]

Scene 9

[Enter Jack Brauwer] [Enter Winston]

Jack Brauwer: Winston, its Jack.

Winston: Jack, where are you?

Jack Brauwer: The terrorists caught me, but I managed to escape. I tell you the whole story later. Winston, see what you can find on the name Luri Nagarov, I am on my way to the transfer place now. Did you get satellite coverage of the building?

Winston: Yes, Jack.

Jack Brauwer: How many rooms?

Winston: one.

Jack Brauwer: How many entrances?

Winston: one.

Jack Brauwer: Does the infra red give you the number of terrorists?

Winston: Yes, one in front of the building and one inside with something that might be the first dog.

Jack Brauwer: I donít like it, Winston. You better keep a squadron of F16ís and two submarines on stand by. This is what I am going to do: I will take out the terrorist in the front and get in through the main entrance. Keep the line open, Winston.

Winston: Copy that, Jack.

[Exit Jack Brauwer] [Exit Winston]

Scene 10

[Enter Jack Brauwer] [Enter Winston] [Enter Guri Stagarov]

[Location transfer building]

Jack Brauwer: Winston, I am looking at the man outside now. Hang on.

[Jack Brauwer walks whistling towards Guri Stagarov]

Jack Brauwer: Hello there, nice evening, isnít it?

Guri Stagarov: Who are you?

Jack Brauwer: Oh, I live around the corner there, talking a walk.

Guri Stagarov: But there are no houses over there.

Jack Brauwer: I live in a tent.

[Jack Brauwer takes a look at the terroristsí machinegun]

Jack Brauwer: What are you, a kind of terrorist? Ha-ha, just kidding. By the way, do you have a light?

Guri Stagarov: No, I stopped smoking.

Jack Brauwer: Why is that?

Guri Stagarov: Because itís unhealthy.

Jack Brauwer: That is absolutely not true. Look what I have here.

[Jack Brauwer takes a pile of documents out of his pocket]

Jack Brauwer: This report from a Swiss university was published a couple of days ago. Have you read it?

Guri Stagarov: No.

Jack Brauwer: Iíll tell you briefly what it says. About a decade ago the Chinese started to buy a majority of the shares of the major tobacco industries. To prevent huge profits from flowing to China, dozens of reports were made up to prove that smoking is unhealthy. 

Guri Stagarov: Damn it. So I quit smoking for no reason?

Jack Brauwer: Exactly.   

Guri Stagarov: Can I have a cigarette?

Jack Brauwer: Sure.

[Jack Brauwer hands a packet of cigarettes and a lighter over to Guri Stagarov and when he lights a cigarette, Jack Brauwer knocks him down with a straight hand blow to the neck] [Jack Brauwer enters hiding place]

Jack Brauwer: Winston, I took out the guard and I will take him to CTU. Prepare an interrogation room. The inside guy escaped and there is no sign of the first dog. I return to CTU now.

Winston: Ok, Jack.

[Exit Jack Brauwer] [Exit Winston] [Exit Guri Stagarov]

Scene 11

[Enter Jack Brauwer] [Enter Winston] [Location CTU]

Jack Brauwer: Winston, is the prisoner ready for interrogation?

Winston: Yes, Jack, he will be brought to room 2 in a couple of minutes, but listen first to what I found on Luri Nagarov . I went back as far as I could. His whole family has been into subversive activities; his great-grandfather played a major role in the French Revolution and another relative was an advisor to Attila the Hun.

Jack Brauwer: Go on.

Winston: Now his uncle was a Polish spy in the Second World War who infiltrated in the Gestapo. In May 1945 he was sent to a concentration camp in Siberia, somewhere in the Goelag Archipelago. From day one onwards this guy had only one idea.

Jack Brauwer: I am listening, Winston.

Winston: That was to escape. He made a plan to dig a two and a half kilometer tunnel from his cell ending outside the camp. Now he knew that for reasons of security he could only escape in the winter.

Jack Brauwer: I see, go on.

Winston: In order to survive the Russian winter, he had to dig a second seventeen kilometer tunnel from outside the camp into the nearest village, straight into the local Gasprom shop. It took him thirteen years and eight months to dig the tunnels. On the 14th of January 1959 he was ready.

Jack Brauwer: Continue, Winston.

Winston: At that day he got a heart attack and he died.

Jack Brauwer: Damned. 

Winston: Obviously he could not have pulled this tunnel job on his own, so yes, he got help from a guy on the inside, a Russian guard called Ras Poetin. This guard helped him with a shovel, getting the sand transported; he brought some paintings to decorate the tunnels and so on. The authorities discovered hat he had helped the prisoner, so this Poetin was fired. Some time thereafter he got himself a small time job as a librarian in the city of Smolensk.

Jack Brauwer: What happened then?

Winston: Nothing really, at first we thought that that was the end of the story, but it wasnít.

Jack Brauwer: So?

Winston: We found out that this guy sends every week two copies of the same book to an address in a suburb of Washington D.C.

Jack Brauwer: Copies of the same book? What book?

Winston: Das Kapital.

Jack Brauwer: Jesus, Winston. To which address?

Winston: 27 Church View Plaza, Washington D.C.

Jack Brauwer: Winston, let me get this straight: are you telling me that the First Lady and the wife of the Russian president are sisters?

Winston: Thatís what Iím saying, Jack.

 [Enter Guri Stagarov] [Winston ties Guri Stagarov to a chair]

Jack Brauwer: Winston, get Johnsson in.

[Enter Johnsson] [Johnsson carries box with special interrogation tools]

Jack Brauwer: Listen, Johnsson, I want you to get the names of everyone he is working with, their plan and the place where they keep the First Dog.

[Johnsson starts Ďworkingí on Guri Stagarov]

Guri Stagarov: You can do to me whatever you want, I wonít say a word.

[After some time]

Johnsson: Jack, I canít break this guy.

Jack Brauwer: Alright, I will interrogate him myself.

[Johnsson starts leaving the room]

Jack Brauwer: Johnsson, where are you going?

Johnsson: Jack, I know why they call you Jack-the-Animal-Brauwer. No one can watch the agonizing pain you are going to inflict on this guy, not even me. I am out of here.

[Exit Johnsson]

Guri Stagarov: Alright, alright, Iíll tell you what you want. If you grant me a full pardon, signed by the president, I will give you the whole story, and there is more to it then you realize.

Jack Brauwer: What is your name?

Guri Stagarov: Guri Stagarov.

Jack Brauwer: Winston, get me the president on the line.

Winston: Hold on, Jack.

[Enter William Forsythe]

William Forsythe: Yes, Jack, do you have any news?

Jack Brauwer: Mister President, we have one of the terrorists in custody who is willing to tell us the whereabouts of the First Dog in exchange for a full pardon, signed by you.

[William Forsythe gets a pile of papers out of his pocket]

William Forsythe: Alright, Jack, what is his name?

Jack Brauwer: Stagarov, sir.

[William Forsythe enters the name on the first sheet ]

William Forsythe: I will have it faxed to you straight away, Jack.

Jack Brauwer: Thank you, mister President.

William Forsythe: Jack, bye the way, I am very upset about this replacement dog. It is somehow different.

Jack Brauwer: Iíll check it out mister President and I will get back to you. Bye, sir.

[Exit William Forsythe]

Jack Brauwer: Winston, what happened to the temporary dog for the president?

Winston: I did not yet have a chance to tell you, Jack, but on such a short notice, the only one I could get was a German shepherd.  

Jack Brauwer: Damned.

Winston: A red one.

Jack Brauwer: My God, thatís a real fuckup, Winston.

[Winston starts to cry]

Winston: You always take it out on me. However hard I work for you, as soon as something small goes wrong, you become verbally abusive. I even cancelled the appointment with my mother to repair her wheelchair to get that dog organized. And what kind of appreciation do I get? Nothing, nothing at all, Jack. You have really hurt me.

Jack Brauwer: Winston, listen, I am sorry. You know the stress I am under, I am really sorry. When this is all over, we will spend some time together, just the two of us. Weíll have a nice dinner with candlelight, a foot massage, whatever you want. All right?    

Winston: You promise?

Jack Brauwer: Yes, I promise.

Winston: Jack, the fax from the president has arrived.

Jack Brauwer: Stagarov, I have your signed pardon here. Now tell me all you know.

Guri Stagarov: The leader of the group is Yuri Dagarov, but you will probably know him as Achmed. He is an extreme orthodox Muslim whose sun was killed by Americans in Afghanistan.

Jack Brauwer: What does he want to do with the money he gets in return for the First Dog?

Guri Stagarov: You donít have a clue, now do you? This whole First Dog thing was a cover up for the real plan: killing the president of the United States.

Jack Brauwer: How does Achmed wants to do that?

Guri Stagarov: He is going to blow the president away with a micro nuclear device. Thatís all I know. I swear it. Achmed is the only one who knows where the device is and when it is supposed to be detonated.   

Jack Brauwer: Winston, cross reference this name Yuri Dagarov with all known experts on micro nuclear physics. Finding this device is our number one priority.

Winston: I am already working on it, Jack.

Jack Brauwer: I am going to the White House to speak with the president. Keep me up-to-date Winston.

Winston: You got it, Jack.

[Exit Jack Brauwer] [Exit Winston] [Exit Guri Stagarov]

Scene 12

[Enter Jack Brauwer] [Enter William Forsythe] [Location: White House]

Jack Brauwer: Hello, mister President.

William Forsythe: Hello, Jack. Good to see you. Have a seat. Can I get you some coffee?

Jack Brauwer: Yes, please, sir.

[Jack Brauwer starts breathing badly, starts sweating and obviously in pain he moves with his hand over his heart]

William Forsythe: Jack, what is it?

Jack Brauwer: Ah, ahh. Sorry, mister president, but these two years in a Chinese cell, ahhhÖ

William Forsythe: Oh my God, what did these people do to you? You must have been tortured like hell.

[Jack Brauwer is completely revived]

Jack Brauwer: Not at all, mister president. I had a great time: booze, dope, women, I was really happy. And I would still be happy, if you would not have intervened. Did I call you and say: ĎMister President, I am in a Chinese cell, can you get me out of here?í No, I did not. But you had to play the smart ash in front of the whole world by sending in those marines. Thank you very much indeed, sir.

William Forsythe: Jack, I am very, very sorry. If I would have had the slightest indication that you wanted to stay in your Chinese residence, I would never had send those soldiers. Believe me; I will see to it that this cocksucker CIA director will be selling stamps by this time tomorrow.    

Jack Brauwer: Alright, sir.

[Enter Ronnie Black]

Ronnie Black: Sorry to interrupt, mister president, but this is important. It concerns the First Dog.

William Forsythe: Yes, go on, Ron. I have been worried sick. Tell me.

Ronnie Black: Sir, there is good and there is bad news. The First Dog apparently managed to escape from the terrorists. It appears, sir, that she walked about 150 kilometers to get back home.

William Forsythe: But thatís fantastic, Ron. I am so happy. Where is she?

Ronnie Black: Thatís where the bad news comes in, sir. On entering the White House premises, the First Dog met the replacement dog, mister president. I am sorry to say that they did not get along with each other very well. We have buried the remains of the late First Dog with military honour, sir.

William Forsythe: My God, thatís terrible. And In five minutes I am shaking hands with President Romanov and Katharina before they get on the plane to Moscow. Jack, hang around, I will be back in about fifteen minutes.

Jack Brauwer: I will, sir.

[Enter Winston] [Cell phone]

Winston: Jack, itís Winston. We found a relation between this Yuri Dagarov and one of the major micro nuclear physicists in California, a guy with the name Offenbach. They were at college together and later, that Yuri became involved in terrorism and Offenbach became the CEO of a factory manufacturing all kind of plastic and rubber items, like screws, balls, tubes and so on.

Jack Brauwer: Good work, Winston, Iíll take it from here.

Winston: Jack, hold on for a second, we just found out that there was a video broadcast from Achmed live on the Internet a couple of minutes ago. 

Jack Brauwer: What does it say? 

Winston: Achmed announces that in about five minutes the president will be assassinated by detonating a micro nuclear device.

Jack Brauwer: Damned, Winston, do you realize whatís happening? The device is hidden in one of the presidential balls.

Winston: My God, youíre right, Jack. The question is in which one. But we have only a couple of minutes left, Jack. Now I know that Iím good, but Iím not that good. We wonít have enough time to prevent this, Jack. What a disaster, the president being blown up by one of his own balls.

Scene 13

[Enter Jamie OíNeill ]

Jamie OíNeill: After signing the Global Playstation Treaty some thirty minutes ago, Russian president Romanov and his wife Katharina are now boarding the plane which takes them back to Moscow, where the president will propose the Russian parliament to ratify the treaty. As a symbolic act the two world leaders exchanged their balls and played a game at the garden of the White House. White House Press Secretary Margret Henderson whom I spoke too just a few minutes ago, revealed that president Romanov during the game said that, quote ĎPresident Forsytheís balls are a bit bigger then mine.í Unquote. This is Jamie OíNeill for CNN at the White House.

[Exit Jamie OíNeill ]

Scene 14

Winston: Jack, did you see the news about the exchange? You realize what that means donít you?

Jack Brauwer: Yes, Winston, Iíll see if I can speak to the president right now. Get in contact with the Russian presidential plane and instruct them to return to the airport immediately.

Jack Brauwer: Ron, can I see the president straight away?

Ronnie Black: Please follow me, mister Brauer.

William Forsythe: Jack, what is going on, I get all kind of disturbing fragments of information.

Jack Brauwer: Mister President, it concerns your balls, sir.

William Forsythe: Jack, donít get me wrong, I appreciate all of what youíve done for me and for the country, but do you really think this is the right moment to discuss such a delicate subject?

Jack Brauwer: Sir, the terrorists who kidnapped the First Dog, they have put a micro nuclear device in one of your balls. The kidnap was just a cover up operation for your assassination, mister President.

William Forsythe: Jesus Christ, but I gave my balls to Anatoli. When is this thing supposed to explode?

Jack Brauwer: Could be any moment now, sir.

Winston: Jack, we cannot get through to the Russian plane. All telecom is blocked and we havenít found out how to bypass that yet.

Jack Brauwer: Fuck.

Winston: Jack, please mind your language, you are with the president.

Jack Brauwer: Mister President, there is something else.

William Forsythe: I canít take much more, Jack. What is it?

Jack Brauwer: Sir, are you aware of the fact that Mrs. Forsythe and Katharina Romanov are sisters?

William Forsythe: Jesus, Jack. Are you absolutely sure? What does that mean?

Jack Brauwer: That Intel is reliable, sir. It means they have the same mother.

Jack Brauwer: And because Katharina is probably around when President Romanov is playing with your balls, the implications of this are immense.

[Enter Mia Blondinski] [William Forsythe breaks down into his chair]

William Forsythe: Iím finished. This is the end. How could this happen?     

Ronnie Black: Mister President, mister Brauer, please have a look. We have the airplane with the Romanovs on the radar. Iím afraid the explosion will take place any moment now.

[Time of expected explosion passes, but nothing happens]      

William Forsythe: Maybe the detonation time of the device was not set properly?

Jack Brauwer: No, mister president, I donít think that is the case.

Winston: Jack, itís Achmed on the phone.

Jack Brauwer: Put him through and on speaker, Winston and see if you can get a trace on the call.

[Enter Yuri Dagarov]

Yuri Dagarov: Mister Brauwer, itís Achmed.   

Jack Brauwer: Yes, Achmed, or should I say Yuri? Fortunately the device did not explode. You failed, Achmed. Admit it.

Yuri Dagarov: Yes, yes, I failed. So what? Why is it accepted that everyone fails now and then, only a terrorist should be a hundred percent? It is not fair. Terrorists are human beings too. We have our feelings; we care about our parents, just like everybody else. I donate to Greenpeace and War Child. I do realize, mister Brauwer that this is the end of my professional carrier in this field. But before I retire and dedicate the rest of my life to develop a new species of tomatoes, I will give you the names of the persons in the White House who helped me with the kidnap and the device. The First Dog was taken by Mia Blondinski and Ö

[The conversation is interrupted by noise]

Winston: Jack, we managed to trace the location of the call and a SWAT team went in, but Yuri was shot because he was wearing explosives.

William Forsythe: Ron, arrest that woman.

[Ronnie Black handcuffs Mia Blondinski]

William Forsythe: Mia, I donít believe this. I trusted you. Why, tell me at least why you did it. If you wanted more holidays, you could have asked me.

Mia Blondinski: Mister President, It was so easy to deceive you. All the time you were showing me your balls, hoping that I would play with them. And I did play with them; I replaced the micro warhead with a state of the art audio chip, designed and build by myself. Remember me dropping out of primary school? That was because NASA offered me a job when I was seven.

Jack Brauwer: From the very start I have been working with Mia, mister president. It was the only way to expose you.     

Jack Brauwer: Winston, restore the communication with the airplane, get mister Romanov to open the ball and get him to play the conversation which is on the audio chip. Put him on speaker. Itís a conversation between the American president and Yuri about assassinating Mister Romanov. Is the attorney general logged into the conversation?

Winston: Yes, Jack, everything is set.

[William Forsythe gets furious and shouts]

William Forsythe: Iíll tell you whatís on there. Then at least youíll get the whole picture. Does any of you realize what the result would be if this treaty would be executed? Because everybody is playing at home all the time, no more oil is needed, because they are happy we donít need any weapons anymore and not even religion, so we cannot get people to cut off other peopleís heads for no reason. It would be disastrous. It would mean the end of civilization as we know it. I could not let that happen, thatís why Romanov had to die.

Jack Brauwer: Ron, release the Chief of Staff from her handcuffs and arrest the president.

Jack Brauwer: Mister President, thanks for your statement. There was nothing on the tape to nail you, only a recipe for Stroganoff.

[Exit all]

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